Mark, How long have you been at Handley Sports? "well, I been ere for about 72 years. I started as a young whippet in midfield and then slowly but surely ended up picking the team"

What do you think of your current crop of players? "crap"

What are your chances of survival this season? "You tell me, as long as we enjoy it, I don't care"

What has been the highlight of this season for you? "Once we managed 11 players and three subs............aghhh that day was great........but we lost 7-0"

Who has starred for you this season? "Jimmy Carr........he's a funny lad"

You look after the pitch, may I congratulate you on it's condition? "If you like"

Who is your leading goalscorer this year? "Own goals is Fran, we don't score the other end so not sure"

Thank you for taking the time to talk to us and good luck for the rest of the season.
"that's alright, oh, if you know anyone who can kick a ball can you ask if they want to sign on?"